As you might have guessed by now, I'm a lover, I love love. I'm also a very social person, so when covid hit, one thing I missed the most in the middle of lockdown was my decently busy social life. Yes, we had Zoom meetings for work and even Zoom birthday parties where I'd get drunk in my room with my friends, but that's not the same. However, in between the madness of what had become the new normal, I managed to find someone special.
At the start of 2021 I noticed a profile would always pop up in my following suggestions, so eventually one day, I did. The content he shared was very funny so I started replying to it, and that's how we started talking. At first, it was very small talk, work, weather, movies, TV shows, and news. Interesting topics considering he'd gone to college for Philosophy..
Eventually, our conversation, always entertaining, started to border on flirtatious. I was testing the waters because he was cute and also very smart, but I wasn't sure what his deal was, and believe it or not some straight men men still freak out when you think they're bi. When he flirted back all I could think about was how much I wanted covid to go away so I could meet this person. As the weeks passed, and the pandemic started to simmer down, we decided it was time to meet. Still, we were in the middle of it, and meeting was going to be tricky. At this point though, some restaurants had already reopened and had some regulations to respect "social distancing".
Also, at this moment in time, my trip to Colorado was just that, a trip. So we decided to meet a week before my flight and see how we "vibed" in person and probably see each other again once I came back for summer. Sebastian had not told any of his friends or family that he was in fact gay, so I chose a bar where I knew there wouldn't be a lot of people either of us knew. I wasn't thrown off by that at all, he did mention he wanted to come out but needed some time to do so. I'm still very jealous of the people who get to do that on their own time.
Thursday night came and it was time for our first (and unfortunately only) date. Time flew and between drinks and very good conversation, we realized, as the bar was closing, none of us would be able to make it home by curfew. Yes, curfew. We had one in Peru during the pandemic to avoid big parties. We didn't know what to do, since also rides home were very expensive. Between panicking and making out in a dark alley, we decided to get a hotel room to just wait until curfew was over and we could head home.
I know what that sounds like, but I was not expecting anything to happen, I felt bloated anyway. The room was nice and cozy, so we wasted no time getting in bed for some pillow talk and cuddles. The sexual tension was pretty obvious, and we did a good job keeping our hands to ourselves. But the more we made eye contact, the worse it got. We went for it and ended up having a great time together. When I thought it couldn't get any better, he spooned me. The morning after we went our separate ways after sharing a kiss and saying "See you in a few months". I still think about that night sometimes.
We're still in touch and talk as friends, but I can't help but think about what could've been, and what would've been.
Would going back and staying with him have made home suck less?
There's no point in torturing myself with this question now. But I know he's reading this so maybe someday we'll find the answer. Until then, we'll always have Selina.
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