I lost you.

And we finally got to the point in the story where my villain's arc starts. At least that's what I feel the narrative is.

I loved you.

California was a dream, back in reality, it was time to deal with Valentine's day. Chatting with Sabrina she let me know Ryan was a little worried about Valentine’s Day because he couldn’t afford a present or dinner or anything. To be honest I wasn’t expecting anything because I knew he was struggling with money, but your girl never loses hope. I wrote him a small poem I wish I still remembered. There are no traces of it on my phone either. Anyway, it was a cute poem I’m sure he still has in his wallet (or lost it like he lost all feelings towards me)

something old, something new

We've all had realizations that land softly, like a whisper. Others hit us hard, like a slap on the face. But this one... this one hit me like a big yellow bus. 

I heard you.

We started going on that we'd call "bestie time" which is non-dates that somehow now included sleeping together. It was all innocent fun, but of course, I started catching feelings. How could I ruin something so fun? I was not about to. 

scenes from a (very) modern marriage

Let's take a break from the person who broke my heart and focus on the person whose heart I broke. In my attempt to fill the void, I got on every dating app possible, but nothing seemed to stick, until I tried Feeld. There, I found the community a lot more queer friendly, especially when it came to sexual orientations beyond straight, gay, or bisexual. 

i kissed you.

When most people reflect on the beginning of a meaningful relationship, they often say it started with a friendship. Ryan and I had become close in that way. Our weekends were filled with late-night hangouts, where the world seemed to slow down and we’d lose ourselves in music and long conversations. I never expected to find common ground in the songs we loved, yet there he was 

adorably vibing to Carly Rae Jepsen. It only made me like him even more, though I kept it buried. He was just my quirky, straight friend Ryan.

oh hi

 I´m know not only for my wit, standoffish attitude and great eyebrows, but also for starting projects and never finishing them because I get bored easily, or I have undiagnosed ADHD. Whatever it is, I don´t care, I´m back on here to continue to write my story because a strawberry blonde inspired me to. So thank you B.